 This story is part of a new web feature: the calendar Pinup Series. We'll be bringing you great new work online each month. —The Eds. Bible Adventures
—for the Nintendo Entertainment System, 1991, by Wisdom Tree, Inc. by James Davis
I. Noah’s Ark
Noah was carrying the panda up the stairs to the top of the ark. It squirmed, kicking its sharp hind paws against Noah's neck. Its belly fur got in Noah's eyes and made it nearly impossible to see. Why, Noah wondered, were so many of the animals so very heavy, and why had he not conceived of some tool to guide them to the ark. A leash, perhaps. Some sort of inclined plane. His arms were tired. He was six hundred years old. Night would come soon, which meant not sleep but nocturnal animals. Owls. Owls that perched in the highest tree branches and flew away unless Noah coaxed them down with acorns. Panthers. Very difficult-to-see panthers that pounced on Noah while he was coaxing the owls. Noah’s only source of light was a jar of fireflies. Fireflies.
Midway up the staircase, Noah decided to speed things up by taking two steps at a time. He'd almost reached the top of the ark, where he could deposit the panda into the animal receptacle, when he slipped out of his left sandal and lost his grip on the bear, which crashed through the banister and fell the full thirty cubits to the forest floor. This had never happened before, and Noah suspected it was not a good thing.
When he climbed back down the stairs and saw the panda immobile and upside-down, Noah's suspicions were confirmed: this was bad. Pandas moved. Their feet pointed toward the ground. One could hardly refer to this creature as a panda at all.
But, knowing how difficult a panda was to locate and subdue, Noah lifted the non-panda over his head and started back up the stairs. It was still heavy, but, to Noah's relief, stiff. It didn't squirm. Its paws didn't kick. He carried it to the top of the ark in what seemed like seconds and tossed it into the animal receptacle.
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